m -

You've been gone for two weeks now. 14 days, 336 hours give or take a few. I still don't know what went wrong. One day we were lounging on the couch talking about memories and future plans and the next thing i know, you've vanished. 20 years obliterated by the pain caused by the lack of your presence in my life. Every morning i get up eat my grape nuts, read the paper, watch the news and wait uncomfortably for the post to come. I wait every minute of the day to hear anything from you. All i'm left with is a photograph of us. It's the only reminder i have of your face. Soft, delicate and full of knowledge. I remember the day we took this picture. It was the first time we felt free to be ourselves. We walked around Glenville not giving a fuck if anyone stared at us because we were happy. We were ourselves 100%. free of all inhibitions. I remember how people looked at us especially the uppercrust ladies that belong to the golf club. I thought it was ironic when that man, howard schatz asked us to pose for a picture. It seemed like he was the only person that day, that did not cast judgement. He was more intrigued by who we were as people and what our stories were rather then the small, shallow things. I know that our unorthodox relationship was looked down upon by others, but deep in my heart i know that it was beautiful, true, and honest. I guess that's why i was so shocked when you left me. Was it me? Was it you? You left me with no explanation of your motifs. So here i sit writing you this email. I hope that you will find it among your travels and will return to me one day. Until that moment i will sit with this picture. This picture that holds true to our inner beings. I love you maxine. i will truely hold you close to my heart. You've been a loving incredible mother that i will never be able to replace.

lovingly, b.